A Sampling from Heymischer Homeopathy
From
INTRODUCTION
I. INTRODUCTION HOMEOPATHY AND KVETHCHING
Got shikt di refueh far der makeh
God sends the remedy for the disease
In the Old Testament, Exodus 33, the Lord kvetches that the Israelites are a stiff-necked people whom he has half a mind to destroy. Later, when atoning for His grouchiness Got shikt di refueh far der makeh (God sends the remedy for the disease). Actually, He sends two (see the Sheygets necked entry in Chapter Three).
The first remedy treats tension not just of the neck, but of the entire body. A nebbish (poor soul) who qualifies for this particular remedy may even have visions of death.
Foreseeing future need, the Lord sends a second and less dire remedy. Along with stiffness of the neck, the second medicine addresses a certain restlessness: “Gangway, gotta hustle my toches (posterior) into exile.” Spoiler alert: the remedy is made from the poison ivy botanical, which also cures itching as in: “Oy, am I itching to get the hell out of here!”
We Are All Kvetchers
An equal-opportunity pastime, kvetching makes us human. More than just complaining, kvetching’s domain extends to lamenting, griping, cursing, noisily grieving or woefully wondering.
A persistent kvetch, one that you cannot let go of, issues from the soul. It cries, “My dignity is undercut!” “My confidence is undermined!” or, “Oy, my personality has been warped!” A kvetch that says it all is “I am going meshugeh (crazy)!”
We should consider these gripes to be the tip of the iceberg of kvetches, icebergs below whose waterline rizik (gargantuan) existential lamentations lie in a solidly frozen state. Heymischer Homeopathy focuses on and introduces homeopathic remedies for these frozen-in-place gripes.
Kvetching and Chronic Illness
Over time, a frozen-in-place gripe proves ruinous to health. We can say that it constitutes the reason for an underlying chronic illness. Since undoing an entrenched gripe offers the most promising route to a cure, homeopathy directed to such ends is known as constitutional care.
Why Yiddish Kvetches?
Yiddish kvetches are poignant. Yiddish metaphors are colorful. The Yiddish language evinces a heymisch (earthy, authentic and down-home) feeling. The English language craves the Yiddish touch.
Let’s compare English and Yiddish words beginning with “sh.” So many English “sh” words are harsh. They convey limitation (shackle, shear, shush, shutter, shy); danger (shank, shark, sheer); discard (shuck); explosiveness (shout, shatter); suppression (shut, shut up); dishonor (shirk); smallness (shack, shrimp, shrink); falseness (sham, shinola); fear, shame and filth (shriek, shame, shit).
Yiddish “sh” words tell a different story. Shlep, shlemiel, shmatta, shmeggege, shmendrick, shnorrer, shpinkle, and shtup are endearing. What’s more, they tickle our funny bone. This comic contrast calls for infiltration into the English language.
The quirkiness of Yiddish renders it famously resistant to translation (does “carry” or “pull” convey the poignancy of “shlep?”) In similar fashion, a homeopathic “remedy-picture” resists summarization of its core essence in any number of words. Yet, homeopathy stakes its effectiveness on a precise correlation of a core kvetch and a “remedy-picture.”
The advantage of Yiddish for homeopathy’s match lies in its expressiveness, especially with regard to kvetches that provide indelible remedy signposts. Yiddishizing homeopathy makes it easier to understand and also more fun to study or to teach.
Homeopathic Law of Similars
The principle underlying homeopathic practice is known as the Law of Similars: “Use like to cure like.” It can be summarized as follows:
“In the appropriate situation, symptoms of illness or disease are effectively addressed by administering a substance whose normal toxic effect induces equivalent symptoms.”
Here, for example, is a usual application of this principle: To keep fear of horseback riding from becoming engrained, one is often advised, “Get back on the horse that threw you.” In homeopathy, however, one gets back on a similar horse-that is, a horse, but a tamer version of the original, unruly animal. Or, for example, to get over a morning hangover you sip a teaspoon of the same alcoholic beverage you abused the night before. The beverage is similar, but not the quantity.
The principle underlying homeopathic practice is known as the Law of Similars: “Use like to cure like.” It can be summarized as follows:
“In the appropriate situation, symptoms of illness or disease are effectively addressed by administering a substance whose normal toxic effect induces equivalent symptoms.”
Here, for example, is a usual application of this principle: To keep fear of horseback riding from becoming engrained, one is often advised, “Get back on the horse that threw you.” In homeopathy, however, one gets back on a similar horse-that is, a horse, but a tamer version of the original, unruly animal. Or, for example, to get over a morning hangover you sip a teaspoon of the same alcoholic beverage you abused the night before. The beverage is similar, but not the quantity
From
CHAPTER ONE
Meshugass
“Craziness” Kvetches
Apikores Heretic, skeptic or unbeliever
Within the orthodox community it is feared is that college education will corrupt traditional values, causing a devout chassid to become an apikores. The word’s usage also connotes a heretical, pleasure-seeking ethic such as espoused by the Greek philosopher Epicurus whose name sounds so much like apikores.
Nah, college didn’t make me an apikores. I was like that long before
Chelidonium
Dulcamera
Chelidonium people are not easily impressed. This reflects their compensating for having earlier been victimized. Stomach and eye problems they may have and cheese they crave.
Eschew discussion with unconvinceable Dulcamara people. This is especially true in the springtime when they are at their worst. It always feels like you are in an argument. Yet for some verkackte (cock- eyed) reason the Dulcamara person will deny feeling angry. Forgive him because he may be indirectly kvetching that zayn mogn iz in a pekl (“his stomach is in a knot’).
Farshtinkiner
Also, Paskudnyak. Someone with ugly opinions, a bigot
Migulgl zol er vern in a henglayhter, by tog zol er hengen, un bay nakht zol er brenen
He should be transformed into a chandelier, to hang by day and to burn by night
Call me farshtinkiner. But you, you’re the cause of everything
that’s going wrong around here!
Granitum
Nitric Acidum
The technology transforming a farshtinker into a chandelier is not yet available. Therefore we give a remedy.
That might be Granitum, for an arrogant, pugnacious loner. Instability seen in such a personality reflects the fact that the particular kind of Irish granite used in this remedy is radioactive.
Nitric Acidum applies for someone fault finding, pessimistic and grudge holding. The remedy has an affinity for rectal symptoms such as hemorrhoids. This explains why, when encountering a farshtinkiner you are tempted to utter the “You are an asshole!” curse. In kindness take a deep breath and say instead, “You have very negative opinions!”