Sample ChapterThey Exiled Me (From Clearing The Toxic Parent)
If I do not belong within my own family, where is my place in the world?
The Remedy Bothrops
“Am I crazy? It’s like I have fallen into a black hole and cannot get out. My ex-husband Isaac is having a big seder. Fifteen people are coming, including my three children. My eldest, Michelle, has made it clear that since it’s only for “family,” I myself am not invited. Not that I want anything to do with Isaac, who was a shit during our marriage, but it hurts how the other two side with her and Isaac against me (she weeps).
I try to explain that I am working three jobs just to stay afloat and having to live with a roommate. Instead of getting it, Michelle believes her father, who tells her I took all the money. So now she glories in telling me about this seder when Isaac, who has no job, no money—though he lives by himself in a ten-room house—is a, a, what do I mean to say? That’s another thing. I keep forgetting words. Amilony—baloney? Alimony, thank you. An alimony deadbeat. I cannot understand the power he has. It makes no sense! Where is my family?
Stu, my boyfriend, is a wonderful man. We have a good relationship, the sex is stellar, and we care about each other. Stu tells me, get over it. They are all jerks. Isaac is pathetic, and his Passover spiel is a desperate ploy because Isaac has never gotten over my leaving him. His life is going nowhere and he just wants to yank my chain. Stu may be right, but it’s working! Crazy as it sounds, I sometimes find myself wondering, who did I think I was, leaving Isaac? At the same time, I hate him so much I want to crush his head with a big rock! It is like I am caught between two worlds.
It’s always the same thing. I never had a family. When I was a kid, my father often beat me. Even worse, he told me I was the dumb one, the donkey who belonged under the bridge as opposed to over the bridge. My smart cousin, Deborah, who could count up to a hundred and spelled perfectly, was always the lovely mare who could walk over the bridge. Then when I was older, they said I was only good enough to get married and have babies, not make anything useful of myself.
Physically? My eyes are dry and sunlight seems to blind me for moments at times. I am exhausted and trembly. My right arm sometimes loses feeling. My face is swollen. My stomach swells and feels tight as well. Could that have to do with my stools being black? There is blood in them at times too. Also, my skin is weird. It feels cold yet gets these swollen red bumps.”
Assessing the Damage
Due to their having exiled her, Leona’s family of origin, as well as her current family, are toxic to her well-being. The situation is described by the material media of a pit viper snake known as Bothrops Lanceolatas, from whose venom the remedy Bothrops is made. Individuals in need of snake remedies enjoy but also suffer from the intensity of their primal needs. Emotionally and sexually intense, at times clairvoyant, they adapt poorly to opposition, provoking rage and harmful impulse suppression. Their anger and frustration disharmonizes what Traditional Chinese Medicine considers to be Liver function, governing blood circulation and the sense of sight.
The emotionally charged theme of the Bothrops snake is enforced separation from one’s family. Despite harboring no illusions about her noxious treatment and being glad to remain beyond its range, Leona also yearns for her exile to end. Having to embrace a schism causes a confusion of identity. Stymied as to who she is, Leona suffers loss of natural flow with regard to speech, now tending to aphasia (loss of words), and also with regard to blood circulation, favoring thrombosis (clotting). Disharmonized Liver function dries her eyes, impairs her vision and causes exhaustion. Leona’s skin and digestion become septic, causing blood in the stools and a skin condition that verges on the gangrenous.
Key Idea: Despite brutal exile, longing to return.
Weak Pole: Disconnection, aphasia, confusion, guilt, despair.
Strong Pole: Suspicion, helpfulness, sexuality, confrontation.
Primary Terrain: Blood circulation, gastrointestinal tract, eyes.
Clearing the Wreckage
Treatment with Bothrops enables Leona to at last heed her boyfriend Stu’s advice. Ceasing to rise to her ex-husband’s bait, effectively countering or sidestepping her children’s oppression, she soon finds that her family’s attempts to rile her wane. As Leona’s physical ailments also ameliorate, she may in time find herself in need of another snake remedy, one less emotionally charged with regard to family.
Similar to Lachesis, a snake remedy discussed in next chapter, Bothrops’s bite is hemotoxic. Thus, it causes hemorrhage, blood sepsis, and thrombosis, secondary to which a victim becomes confused and aphasic, losing the ability to remember words. Jealous and often manipulative, the Lachesis family member is more likely to be an oppressor than the oppressed.