Review in Journal Homeopathy Today
Published 2013 Jerry Kantor, Lic. Ac, CCH
Jerry Kantor’s new work, The Toxic Relationship Cure, Clearing traumatic damage from a toxic boss, parent, lover or friend with natural, drug-free remedies is a long needed contribution to the homeopathic compendium of resources.
Using engaging and memorable vignettes, The Toxic Relationship Cure gives an insightful discussion of how homeopathy is used constitutionally to help clients with long standing responses to toxic and unhealthy life relationships which have left them with psychological injury; injuries which have often morphed into dis-ease manifesting with both emotional distress as well as physical symptoms.
Kantor rightly points out that our homeopathic library contains many excellent self-help and acute prescribing texts but little or nothing to help the layperson understand the relevance of homeopathy in regard to longstanding biopsychosocialspiritual maladies.
He aims his text at victims of toxic relationships, and potentially homeopathic clients, mental health professionals and fellow/sister homeopaths. For the first group, the victims, he notes that were the general public more aware of an integrative approach which allows for a true psychological/spiritual healing as well as relief from the physical symptoms resulting from an injured Vital Force, more people would seek homeopathic constitutional care. For those mental health practitioners who often see these victims of toxicity in their consulting rooms and feel frustrated with the length of time it takes to help such clients to recover, this book is a ray of light and hope. For the professional homeopath, it offers not only delightful and succinct synopsis of our most useful polycrests and some new and smaller remedies but is also a useful client education tool. The Toxic Relationship Cure is a little gem that is universally useful.
Kantor begins by identifying relationship groups, Boss, Parent, Lover, Friend, Spiritual Crisis that most often can result in distorted and toxic experiences. He then gives one of the most useful descriptions of the basic premise of “like cures like” found in the literature. Using simple metaphors (snake bite, hyperactivity, vaccinations, reverse psychology and the ever popular “hair of the dog” for hangovers) Kantor describes the essence of a disturbance to the Vital Force and how homeopathy uses a marshal arts approach to healing.
He then moves to what may be described as parables for each of the remedies he discusses. These are stories rather than clinical “case histories” which captures the lay or professional reader’s attention while showing the nature of the injury as well as its match to the essence of a remedy. “God loves stories” and so does the reader, lay or professional, and these parables are brief, to the point and clearly etched.
It is useful here just to review the table of contents as it demonstrates the range of remedies from polycrests to new and little known remedies.
- 1. Clearing the Toxic Boss
- 2. Clearing the Toxic Parent
- 3. Clearing the Toxic Lover
- 4. Clearing the Toxic Friend
- 5. Clearing the Toxic Spiritual Beyond
- Homeopathic Medicines Index
She intimidates me–Lycopodium Clavatum
All he cares about are numbers–Psorinum
She won’t take no for an answer–Carcinosin
He stifles my initiative–Crotalus Horridus
She is a bully–Causticum,
He is a hypocrite–Kali Carbonicum
My bosses are laying waste to the planet–Positronium
He constantly belittles me–Thuja
She just mocks me–Baryta Carbonicum
I cannot live up to my dad–Zincum
My dad is a bring down–Ammonia Carbonicum
They did not know how to love me–Saccharum Officinalum
They did not allow me to choose–Alumina
She tramples on my self-respect–Anacardium
They never wanted me–Magnesium Carbonica
They terrified me–Absinthum,
They terrorized me–Stramonium
Unless I am perfect…–Arsenicum Album
They exiled me—Bothrops
He condemns me for my faults–Cobalt
He abuses me–Staphysagria
She treats me like I don’t exist–Natrum Sulphurica
He cheats on me–Lachesis
Jilted out of the blue–Ignatia
Sexual assault–Cenchris Contortrix
He disappoints me over and over–Sepia
She broke my heart–Aurum
He set a trap for me–Drosera
She stabbed in the back–Ruta Graviola
He pulled the rug out from under me–Veratrum Album
They diminished me–Gratiola Officinalis
They wore me out–Phosphoric Acidum
God hates me–Kali Bromatum
God has forsaken me–Bismuth
He is dead but holds me to his standards–Calcarea Silicata
Demons possess me–Mancinella
Ghosts in the nursery–Bromium
Mind-Body Polarities: Radical Disjunct
Finding a Homeopath
Each remedy story is discussed in conjunction with what Kantor calls the Essence of the Remedy: a Key Idea, a Strong pole (over compensation) a Weak pole (manifested impact) and the Primary terrain (the body system most closely associated with this remedy.) For Lycopodium we see:
Key Idea: Insecurity.
Weak Pole: Impotence, non-readiness, intimidated, distractible.
Strong Pole: Bossiness, need to be controlling.
Primary Terrain: Gastrointestinal tract.
So in total both the lay reader considering homeopathy and the practitioner get a delightful and succinct gem with facets of essence, usefulness and hope.
An additional advantage to the text is Kantor’s ability to incorporate his knowledge as an acupuncturist and scholar of Asian medicine into his understanding of the remedies. Here is an example of this useful and unique integration:
“According to the Chinese sages individuals who are hoarse, tend to cough, complain of a tickle in the throat, or hawk up of phlegm suffer from Spleen dampness either caused by or reflecting the presence of anxiety. As found in Causticum, the phlegm’s preference for the larynx may be accounted for by Hindu Chakra theory that links inability to feel comfortable in one’s own identity, often pursuant to having an unpredictable alcoholic parent, with throat Chakra instability.”
As we become more and more a community of integrated healers, the ability to acknowledge the unique contributions each of us bring from our field of expertise into the homeopathic community is a rich and eminently perspective.
Jerry Kantor’s book is an excellent example of “less is more.” Using simple brief vignettes, insightful one line descriptors, and crisp essences he gives the reader, new to homeopathic constitutional prescribing and the practitioner, deep insight and renewed hope.